Half a Year (Or, Death Sucks)

Jon died six months ago today.

I started out writing one of my typical “grief posts”. I’ve developed a formula for those: wax lyrical about my grief process and what this day means to me; throw in a few dreamy lines about how much I miss Jon; illustrate my personal and spiritual growth; blah, blah, blah. Press “Publish”, sit back in my chair, and try to feel better about myself. I actually wrote half a post along these lines, then decided it was drivel and deleted it.

So I changed my mind. Rather than getting all dreamy and introspective, I decided to list the top ten reasons why Jon’s “passing” (to put it politely) really sucks. Because let’s face it: Death sucks big-time. This idea sounded great in my head, but I didn’t even get one line into it before deciding that was also the wrong way to approach things. I was bound to say things that I’d regret later, and plus I know my mom hates the word “sucks”. (Sorry, Mom.)

So then I sat for a moment and thought to myself: What would Jon want me to say on my blog today? I came up with the perfect thing.

A few days ago I was driving home at sunset. I stopped at the traffic light at St. Andrews Road and Jan Smuts Avenue. I looked up and there was a flock of wild ibis flying over, in a perfect V formation. The ibis looked so beautiful, silhouetted against the deep pink sky with their wings extended and long necks outstretched.

I looked toward the horizon (it’s a long traffic light), and there were several more ibis formations approaching. One, after the other, after the other. The birds were honing in on the island in the middle of Zoo Lake, where thousands of ibis go to roost every evening.

Jon is the reason why I knew what the ibis were and where they were going. He was always explaining little tidbits like that to me, about birds and nature and stuff. He would be happy to know that I still remember some of them.

I didn’t get a photo of the wild ibis. But I did get a nice shot of the sky from my backyard at sunrise this morning. Jon would have liked this too.

I hope I’ve commemorated this milestone in a way that would make Jon proud. But I still reserve the right to publish a “Why Death Sucks” post at some point in the future.