From the Melville Cat: A Breakup

From the Melville Cat:

I’m writing this post as a favor to Heather. She’s been trying to write it for days – I’ve been watching her – but today she gave up and asked me to do it for her.

Unlike my usual light-hearted feline musings, this is a serious post indeed. Ray does not live in our house anymore.

Heather says it’s a breakup. I wasn’t familiar with this term before and I still don’t understand completely, as nothing is broken as far as I can see. I never saw any pieces of glass on the floor – something I always make sure to scamper away from. I don’t see any cracks in the furniture.

All I know is, there used to be three of us and now there are two.

Smokey looking up
A breakup? What exactly do you mean?

It was confusing at first. Heather went away on a trip – she was already sad before she left – and while she was gone Ray carried some things out of the house. He seemed sad, too.

On one particular morning during this time, Ray was very sad indeed. He carried some more things out of the house. I followed him to his car and watched. When Ray finished carrying his things, he pet me and played with me for a very long time.

Finally Ray said goodbye and drove away.

Hours later, long after dark, I heard a car. I knew it would be Heather. I stood at the door, meowing (it was past my dinner time!), and followed Heather inside. As soon as she opened the door she began to cry.

I followed Heather from room to room, meowing while she cried. (Dinner time. Remember?) She sat on the edge of the bed and I sat on the floor, facing her. I kept meowing, not so much because I was hungry anymore but because I didn’t know what else to do. Maybe if I keep meowing, I thought, Heather will stop crying.

Heather stood up, rubbed my head, and went to the kitchen to fix my dinner.

It was then, as I was eating my dinner (finally!), that Heather told me about the breakup. I understood. Ray is not coming back.

Smokey looking angry and sad after the breakup
This is my sad/angry face.

It took me a long time to get used to living with Ray. I confess I made life quite difficult for him early in our relationship. But he worked hard to gain my affection, feeding me catnip and tasty packets of moist, meaty morsels that Heather never fed me before. I grew quite fond of Ray eventually.

Now he is gone. Because of this breakup where nothing actually breaks. At least nothing I can see.

It’s a pity.

Life With a Crazy Cat Lady

As for Heather, I know just how to deal with her. I’ve helped Heather through hard times before, when Jon died. Caring for her has always been my most important job – after taking care of myself, of course.

I’m sticking close to Heather during this difficult time. Although the weather has grown warm I still spend my nights indoors, sleeping faithfully at the foot of the bed.

When Heather wakes up during the night, which happens often, she reaches down to pet me and I always give her a reassuring squeak. She still seems very sad. But I’m sure she’ll be back to normal soon.

Fortunately Heather has decided to continue Ray’s habit of feeding me packets of moist, meaty morsels for dinner. For this I am grateful.

Heather says now she can now fulfill her true destiny to become a Crazy Cat Lady.

Crazy Cat Lady? I wasn’t familiar with this term, either.

Heather and Smokey photoshoot 2Heather and Smokey photoshoot #1
Heather and Smokey photoshoot 3
Despite my best efforts to communicate that I was not in the mood for selfies, Heather insisted. How rude. But I guess that’s what Crazy Cat Ladies do.

I think I’m beginning to understand.


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Grieving for Jon, Ten Years Later

For the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking about what to write in my blog for the ten-year anniversary of Jon’s death. Jon died a decade ago tomorrow.

Jon Hrusa on a mountaintop in Lesotho
Jon hanging out with the locals on a remote mountaintop in Lesotho, September 2010. For those who haven’t read my blog for ten years, Jon was my boyfriend when I moved to South Africa in 2010. He was, in fact, the whole reason I came here and the reason I created 2Summers. Jon died on December 19th, 2011, after years of suffering with addiction and mental illness, when he was 46 years old. Here is a link to his obituary in the South African Sunday Times.

I don’t think about Jon’s death anywhere near as often as I used to. For the first couple of years I obsessed about it constantly and December 19th loomed in my mind for weeks in advance. I wrote an intense post about Jon on the one-year anniversary of his death, and I’m sure I referenced it in subsequent years, too. But the pain faded with time. There were years when I only thought briefly of Jon on December 19th, and more with a feeling of wistful nostalgia than grief.