#Johannesburg

My first memory is of standing in the yard when I was about three years old, having my picture taken by my father. I spent hours in Dad’s basement darkroom, watching images come to life in trays of chemicals. We had slide shows in the living room every Sunday night.

I shot some photos in the garden the other day. All were snapped within a 10-foot radius of each other, although I shot half while looking down and the other half while looking up. The ‘down’ shots were taken in the middle of the afternoon and the ‘up’ shots were taken at sunset.

I know I said I was going to look forward, not back, from now on. But I lied. There is one more day in 2011 that I want to write about.

My first full year in Johannesburg is over. I won’t try to sum it up in any kind of neat and tidy way, as that would be impossible.

I suppose it would be logical for me to say something like, ‘Good riddance to 2011, it was a horrible year. Looking forward to better times in 2012.’ But that’s not how I feel at all, actually. This was the most remarkable year of my life and I don’t want it to be over. What I’d really like to do is travel back in time to about halfway through 2011, and pause the clock there forever.

I gave myself a new blog for Christmas.

It’s a good time to reinvent myself. It’s been a heck of a year. I’ve experienced immense joy in 2011, along with unimaginable grief and despair. The last two months in particular have left me feeling like someone removed my internal organs, beat them to a pulp with a hammer, then placed them back inside my body. And the year ain’t over yet.